Undecided
by Rajiv Laloo
Is it okay
If I say
I wanted to stay
Just a little longer?
Is it fine
If I recline
In the sunshine
Until I feel stronger?
I need some practice, some time
To learn to be on my own
It’s been a while, and I think I’m
Still afraid of being alone.
But I know I must say goodbye
Take the journey from us to I
Straighten my back and dry my eye
Listen intently and never reply.
But, is it okay
If I wait
A few more minutes?
I’ll have to stay
To dictate
My unkempt spirit.
I promise that I won’t be late
I must, I know, accept our fate
Will not blame you for my state
Do it willingly and without hate.
I don’t want to reprimand you
But I need to understand too
So let me walk in your shoes
See the picture from your view
Maybe then I’ll see it through
Maybe, then- I’ll hate me too.
So, is it okay if I said
That I’m undecided and afraid
To embark on this journey alone?
Is it fine if I, instead,
Wait for my heart and head
To be less fearful of the unknown?
But eventually, I know that I must go
Travel up the mountains filled with snow
Ride across the rivers down below
Try to find closure on the plateau.
But,
Is it okay if I prayed
That my journey was delayed
And before I’m too far gone, You said
“It’s okay if you stayed.”
Rajeev Laloo is an Asst. Lecturer at Lady Keane College. The poem is self-explanatory. It talks about the modern-day dilemma of today’s youth. They’d go to war for love, but when they are standing next to the one they love, they’d still ponder and wonder, what if? What will happen?
