This week has been a rollercoaster ride. Just like every year, I’ve been overwhelmed with uncontrollable emotions courtesy of the gestures of the students’ unconditional gratitude, love, and support, particularly through spoken and silent prayers. I am humbled with sincerity that I’ve been able to wear an imaginary crown of precious stones when present students, and past students narrate their academic, moral and life’s journey; and they allow a little space for me to squeeze in their good books.
For the past nine years of my journey at AEHSS, I’ve never applied for another teaching job elsewhere, even when I have been offered better prospects in the past. Many a time, driven by human instincts, I have felt the temptation to leave. But, these opportunities of greener pastures came during the crucial academic months of the students – August, September, October, and November. Our students at the Higher Secondary Level are obedient, diligent, sincere, and smart. The fact that they come from poor foundational backgrounds amputates their ability to learn at the same pace as students from Shillong. Therefore, we have to devote more time to their growth, which is slow but gradual.
But since it has been discussed, the subject on ‘departing’ is sometimes only digested in half-truths and not perceived in the complete form of the right spirit. There were years when some Institutions threw lucrative offers, while others had also sent the subject routine, as the pay-check in their offer was better than the one I was enjoying. Every single time, with a heavy sigh, I had to decline, stating that I could not leave my students at that point in time. We had some bright students who were potential Toppers. Politely, I told them, “If it’s still available next year, I’d surely consider. But this year, I have made a commitment. It’s too late in the year to leave them hanging.” But offers don’t come knocking at the door according to our preference. It always comes at a time when we are not ready and when we have to make the toughest decisions of our lives. Of course, we never made it to the Top 10 (Arts Stream) in the last 8 years of my service, but we came dangerously close ‘thrice’. The students gave their best. Though disappointed, what a wonderful bumpy road it was to try, and fail, and try again the following year; fail again, and gear up to try once again with a new spirit and grit as a team.
As years rolled by, reflecting on the decisions I made, sometimes scared and insecure about how the future would look like as I had made many emotional decisions either intelligently or recklessly, I only wonder. In the midst of the tumultuous waves in the sea of uncertainty, a beacon of hope shone upon the wracked heart. This year, I received a special message from one of the ex-students who featured in the Top 10 of NEHU, bagging the 5th Position in her Semester’s results. I was told that the message was a jubilant echo of a dream envisioned at the Higher Secondary Level years ago. The tree of futurity that we planted in school has started to bear fruit at the degree level.
I have been a difficult man in the past, though my intentions always stemmed from a heart aimed at giving more than what I received. Most of the time, my criticisms of a certain subject have been misunderstood as arrogance. I was not aware then, but I am now. Teaching requires introspection. We have to learn with the students and journey together with them. My colleagues and friends would tell me that I have changed for the better over the years. I guess Teaching has made me a better human being. I have learned more than what I have imparted. Through the years, I’ve learned how to calm my emotions when angry, to pause when irritated, to breathe when annoyed, and to be still in the rumpus of life or when the sun is beating down remorselessly, just like in the Morning Assembly, and focus on starting a brand new day with God.
Teaching demands teachers who are doers. It is not just a verbal transfer of knowledge but an exchange of passion and commitment towards the perception of learning and life. We cannot preach what we do not practice. When we fall down, we cannot stay there on the ground. We have to regroup and get back up. Teachers and students are reflections of each other’s mirror. We serve God in different ways, and we do it by serving the students.
